


Popped Kernels

by dip_the_pip



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Drug Use, Fluff, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24672448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dip_the_pip/pseuds/dip_the_pip
Summary: Phil decides to get Dan some weed as an extra birthday present (along with some edibles for himself), and then they just enjoy a comfortable night at home for Dan's birthday. Definitely no popcorn disasters.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 13
Kudos: 39





	Popped Kernels

As Dan places the pizza order, Phil finally hands the birthday boy one last box.

“What’s this?” He asks, setting his phone on the arm rest of the couch and taking the present from Phil’s hands, gently shaking it until he sees Phil’s eyes widen comically, “I thought we opened everything earlier?”

“I didn’t think either of our parents would be thrilled about you opening this up on a family zoom call,”

Dan raises an eyebrow as he carefully tears at the tape to open it up. As soon as he tears the paper off, he immediately has a guess, “How the hell did you manage this?”

Phil brings his knees to his chest, grinning, “Martyn’s a lot braver than I am,”

Dan laughs as he carefully opens the plain white box, seeing ‘Birthday Blunts’ scrawled across the inside of the lid in Phil’s writing, “Why the hell did you buy so many?” He asks, picking up the professionally pre-rolled joint.

Phil shrugs, “I told Martyn to place the order, I figured he’d know better than I would,”

“He probably knows we’ll struggle to share one of these, and then next time they’re around, he’ll smoke one for free,” Dan unscrews the small lid and lets the joint slide into his palm, “My mum totally would’ve been okay with you giving me this on the zoom call,”

Phil rolls his eyes, “Well my mum wouldn’t have,”

Dan glances over at his phone to check the delivery time on their food, “I know you aren’t really a fan of smoking, are you gonna partake?”

Phil jumps off the couch and makes his way across the flat and into the kitchen. Dan can kind of see him reach up high and pull down something. He walks back into the lounge and holds up a little bag of edible gummies.

“You know you can’t just eat all the gummies though, right? Like, even if they taste good, this is the one time I’m actually telling you that you are not allowed more than one, at least for now,”

Phil chuckles, and nods, “Don’t worry, grabbed normal-people gummies from the shop, too,”

Dan grins, “I can’t believe I’m 29 and getting high for my birthday,”

Phil shrugs, opening the bag and taking out one gummy, before handing the bag to Dan, “Hide that so I’m really not tempted to eat them,”

Dan gets up from the couch with a joint between his fingers. He goes into the kitchen and quickly hides the edibles in a coffee mug before opening their junk drawer to grab their lighter that they usually use to light candles. “Are you gonna come sit outside at least?”

Phil nods, grabbing a throw from the couch and following Dan out onto the balcony, “If it were legal, would you rather get drunk on a night out, or get high?” Phil asks as they sit on the patio bench. He watches as Dan cups his hand around the joint and sparks up the lighter, inhaling deeply until the end burns. He coughs harshly, tossing the lighter onto the coffee table before leaning back into the couch and trying to catch his breath after another coughing fit.

“I dunno,” He manages to choke out, clearing his throat again, “If I smoked regularly again, I wouldn’t cough up my lungs every time, plus there are easier ways to get high. Drinking just makes me feel like crap, and then there’s the hangover and drinks are so expensive,”

“You don’t know how much I paid for our order,”

“Yeah, but it’ll last us longer than alcohol would. Our tolerance is low now, I could probably make this last the entire night if I wanted to,” He says, holding up the burning joint, “did you do any research into the strain?”

Phil shakes his head, “No, like I said, I left Martyn to figure it all out. I’m sure he put some thought into it, though,”

Dan nods, taking another puff and blowing the smoke into Phil’s face, “Would you rather smoke or drink?”

“My mum would kill me if she found out I smoked weed,”

“Her hatred of smoking isn’t just for cigs?”

Phil shakes his head again, “But like, I get it, she just wants us to be healthy and safe. Edibles, however,” Phil grins, “those are just fun,”

“I can’t believe you convinced Mart to buy you edibles,”

“I way paying, he didn’t care about what he was adding to cart,”

Dan offers the joint to Phil, who takes it in shaky hands. He takes a very shallow inhale, his eyes watering as he tries to hold back coughs. He blows out the smoke, coughing softly and making a bit of a gagging sound.

“Did you ever go to class high?”

Dan nods a bit, taking the joint back from Phil and leaning back into the couch, wrapping his arm around Phil’s shoulders as Phil leaned into his side, “Yeah, quite a bit when I was 15 and 16, though. Once my mum caught me getting high beside the house before school and gave me shit. Then it mostly just happened at parties,”

“I tried to slip some Irish cream into my coffee one morning when I was like, 11, and then I go so anxious and stressed that I told my mom, only to find out that it was just fancy flavoured cream, no alcohol,”

Dan snorts, shaking his head, “Little Phil is an angel,”

“He was a dumbass,” Phil grins, reaching for Dan’s phone when it dings, “The drivers almost here, want me to go grab it while you finish up?”

Dan nods, flicking off some of the ash into a rain-filled watering can, “Sounds good,”

-

Phil sets up the food in the lounge and goes back out with Dan, taking a few more puffs for himself before they both move inside. There’s a few more giggles, more hands grabbing for balance as they make their way to the couch.

There’s a few seconds of arguing over a show or a movie before they find something that they can agree upon to watch mindlessly in the background as they eat.

“Was this a good birthday?” Phil asks as they’re finishing off some wedges, dunking them in their various dips.

Dan tilts his head back and forth for a second in thought, “I mean, worlds being hit hard with a virus and we’re probably closer than we think to a second wave and it’s all tragic and horrible, but for me _personally_ , it’s been a pretty good birthday, yeah,” He says softly, smiling over at Phil.

Phil leans over and kisses him softly, giggling against his lips, “You’ve got pizza breath,”

“As do you, dumbass,”

“Nuh-uh,”

Dan rolls his eyes, pushing Phil away gently but keeping his hands on his chest. Phil’s eyes were bloodshot, and Dan was sure his were even worse. The air around them stinks of weed and pizza, but they aren’t too concerned about the smell lingering too long.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Dan hears Phil saying, pulling him out of his trance and looking up at his partner.

“Huh?”

“You’re staring,” Phil says, bringing his hand up to cup Dan’s cheek, his tongue poking out between his teeth as he grins, “You keep spacing out, it’s cute,”

Dan rolls his eyes a bit and shakes his head, moving his hands from Phil’s chest and sliding down to wrap around his middle and pull him closer. Dan falls back onto the couch, Phil’s head tucked under his chin.

“I can’t believe you’re 29 now,” Phil mumbles against Dan’s sweater, “You were just a wee little 18-year-old when I met you,” he giggles, causing Dan to giggle too. “Now you’re like…a whole person,” Phil whispers in amazement, “Who knew you’d turn out so amazing…Well, I knew, but I know that you didn’t know that,”

Dan shrugs a bit, letting his eyes slide shut, “There were definitely times that I didn’t think I was going to do anything,” He says softly, “Even when we were in the middle of Tatinof, I still thought everything was going to fall apart and I’d just be…a no one again,”

“Do you really think that?”

“I guess, realistically, no, we’ve had so many different impacts in peoples lives, there’s no way we’d drop off the face of the earth forever without a trace, but there’s still that bit of fear. This past year though,” Dan sighs, “A year without posting, I think, will be a good way for me to get over that fear. It’ll prove that…I can go away and create and there’ll still be support whenever I return,”

Phil moves to prop his chin up on Dan’s chest, looking up at him, “You’ve been making an impact for over a decade, people aren’t just gonna let you drop off the map,”

Dan smiles a little, “They’d probably find me,”

Phil snorts, “Honestly, yeah, probably,”

Phil lays his head down again, and they both sigh contentedly.

After they zone out for a few episodes of the show they put on, they figure it’s time to clean up their dinner. As Dan’s breaking down the pizza boxes for recycling, Phil’s tummy grumbles again.

“Really?”

“What?” Phil asks innocently, his eyes wide.

“You’re already hungry again?”

“I didn’t say anything,”

“But your stomach did,”

“I’m not responsible for that,”

Dan snorts, piling up their recycling, “How about you make a bag of popcorn and then you joint me back out on the balcony?” He asks, grabbing Phil by the hem of his shirt and tugging him closer, standing forehead to forehead.

“Do I have to share this bag of popcorn?”

“Make two, then,”

Phil giggles, pressing their lips together and wrapping his arms around Dan’s shoulders, leaning into him, “Have I ever told you I love you,” He mumbles against his lips, feeling Dan break out into a grin.

“Maybe once or twice,” He mumbles back, his arms snaking around Phil’s waist and hold him close, “But tell me again,” He whispers.

“I love you,” Phil says, annunciated with a kiss, “I love you,” Another peck, “I love you,” another.

Dan blushes brightly, not bothering to try to fight the massive smile from his face, “Alright, alright, I love you too, now start making that popcorn,”

Phil nods and plants one final smooch to Dan’s lips before pushing him out of the kitchen. After making two bags of popcorn and putting them into bowls, Phil carries them outside to where Dan’s sitting and places them on the coffee table.

He takes the joint from Dan and takes a hit as the younger man grabs a handful of buttery popcorn. Phil manages not to cough as he exhales, “How are you feeling?”

Dan smiles, “Really, really good actually,” He sighs, “brain feels a little clearer, body feels a bit lighter,”

“Me too,” Phil hums, handing the joint back to Dan, “kinda feels like everything’s moving in slow-motion though, or, like really quick and then super slow to trick me,”

Dan tugs him closer and kisses his temple, “Maybe it’s just trying to slow your brain down and make you relax for once,”

Phil rolls his eyes over dramatically, “My brain works at the right speed,”

“Sure it does, bub,”

“Bully,”

“Jackass,” Dan grins, catching Phil’s chin with his finger and tilting his face up, pressing their lips together.

Phil hums contentedly, running his hand down Dan’s chest slowly and smiling against his lips. Dan moves his finger from under his chin to cup Phil’s stubbly cheek fully and deepening the kiss. “I love you and your stupid lips, but I’d really like to eat the popcorn,”

Dan grumbles softly but pulls away from the kiss, looking down at Phil and running his thumb across his bottom lip, “Mmkay,”

Phil giggles, and blindly reaches for a handful of popcorn, probably spilling some onto the patio carpet for the pigeons in the morning. Dan doesn’t move his thumb from Phil’s lip as he attempts to eat the popcorn, “you’re making this difficult,” He mumbles around the mouthful of popcorn.

“Well if you weren’t more concerned with eating than me seducing you, it wouldn’t be difficult,”

“Well, it’s your fault for trying to seduce me when I’m eating,” Phil points out, “You know better,”

Dan huffs, before turning his head to take a hit from the burning joint in his fingers. He purposely exhales all of the skunky smelling smoke into Phil’s face, making him gag and cough a bit.

“Just let me eat this popcorn and then you can seduce me all you want,” Phil says as he quickly tries to shovel in more handfuls of popcorn.

“Nope, too late, that was your one and only chance to get fucked tonight,”

Yeah, as if I’m the one who gets fucked on your birthday,” Phil giggles, poking at Dan’s side and making him flinch and laugh along.

“You’re a pain in my ass,”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Phil teases, poking at Dan more. Dan’s careful with the joint, and uses his other hand to poke back at and tickle Phil. Once he gets him squealing and laughing and an actual worry about neighbours making a noise complaint about them, Dan stops the tickle attack.

Phil leans back into his seat, grinning and reaching out for Dan’s face. He turns his face towards himself, and plants a wet smack of a kiss to his lips.

“You’re disgusting,” Dan mumbles, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. He takes a few more hits from the joint before handing it to Phil to finish off, “Would you be mad if I said I wanted to skip birthday sex and go straight to cuddling in bed?”

“Definitely not,” Phil shakes his head, “Can we make an exception, y’know, like a birthday exception for me to bring the popcorn to bed?”

“It’s not your birthday,”

“And?”

Dan stares at Phil, trying hard not to break out into a grin, “This is how we get crumbs in bed and then you complain,”

“I’ll be super careful,”

“You don’t get to complain,”

Phil holds up his pinky, which Dan hooks with his own pinky, “I won’t complain,”

“Fine,” Dan signs, “You can bring _one_ of the bowls to bed,”

Phil keeps his eyes trained on Dan for a moment before looking down at the two bowls of popcorn. He thinks for a moment, before grabbing the less-empty bowl. Dan’s about to question his choice, before he watches Phil pour the rest of that bowl into the fuller bowl. “Alright, bedtime!”

Dan grins, grabbing the empty bowl and getting up to follow Phil inside as more popcorn falls for the pigeons in the morning. Dan leaves the empty bowl in the kitchen and turns off the lights as he follows Phil through the flat, using a hand on the wall to keep himself balanced.

He’s about to round the corner into the bedroom when he hears some stomps and the sound of Phil struggling, and then a smack and another bang. He stands in the doorway, seeing popcorn scattered across the entire bedroom, and Phil face first on the floor.

“What happened?” Dan asks, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice. Phil mumbles something into the ground, and Dan grins, “What was that?”

“Tripped n’ fell,” Phil grumbles when he tilts his head to look over at Dan, pouting, “Why is there a pile of clothes in the middle of the floor?”

Dan glances over at the pile Phil tripped on, “You did laundry yesterday, you forgot to put the clothes away, bub,”

Phil groans and rolls over onto his back, squishing some popcorn underneath him, “Just tell me…did the popcorn get on the bed?”

Dan scans the bed, seeing popcorn scattered across their duvet and pillows, “So much,”

Phil whines, “Help me clean it?”

“No way, you took on the responsibility of the popcorn when you decided you wanted to bring it to bed,”

“ _No_ , I agreed not to complain if I got popcorn crumbs in the bed. I’m not complaining, I’m just asking for help,”

Dan shakes his head, “Nope, no way, that’s all you, popcorn man,” Dan says as he turns to walk out of the room.

“Dan!” Phil cries out hopelessly, before erupting into a fit of giggles and reaching around him on the floor to eat the scattered popcorn, “Pleeease come help,” he whines as he hears Dan continue to walk away. A few moments later, though, Dan reappears with a broom.

“I’ll vacuum up the bed, you sweep the room,” He says, grabbing Phil by the hand and pulling him up off the floor. He brushes Phil hair back from his face, “Did the fall hurt?” He asks a bit softer.

Phil nods a little bit, taking the broom from his hand and kissing him softly, “The only fall that hurt was how hard I fell for you,” He mumbles against Dan’s lips.

“That’s it,” Dan says, turning and walking out of the room again as Phil breaks out into giggles, “That’s gross and sappy and I don’t wanna hear it!” Dan yells across the flat as Phil thinks he makes his way to the lounge, “Text me when you’re done, and if I find one kernel of popcorn, your ass is on the couch!”

Phil is still laughing silently to himself as he begins to sweep up his popcorn-y mess, “Yes, Your Royal Highness,” He replies sarcastically. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr @dip-the-pip


End file.
